Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Pathetically Adorable(or not particularly bad)


For anybody wondering the straights of Houghton or Marquette this weekend who happened to stumble upon a group of loud fans in Minnesota and North Dakota, I would like to apologize because you have in fact experienced THE INVASION.

And now I must pose a question to you. Listen closely because there may be a pop quiz on this later. So you're in a bar talking to a girl (or guy, whatever floats your boat) who you are interested in. This girl already has enough drinks in her that she probably won't be making the best decision in the world, but not enough that's she's noticeably incoherent. She says. "you're kind of cute." How do you respond? Think quickly; you only have precious seconds before she realizes you have never been hit on before and decides to look for somebody else.

So what do you say? "You're pretty cute yourself," "you're not exactly an ugly duckling yourself," "I would tell you how beautiful you were, but I'm afraid that even if I compared you to the Mona Lisa or a sunset or any of the most beautiful sights to ever grace this plane of existence, I would still fail by leaps and bounds to adequate grasp the depth of your beauty," or how about "you are so beautiful I would skip the third period of a game tied at 7 a piece just if it meant that I would have the opportunity to look into your eyes," or even "girl you so fine even if you went to Northern I would still take a run at that."

If you gave any of the above answers, good, you're not completely hopeless. In fact a vast majority of the answers you give in this situation are going to be okay. In fact I use to believe there really no way you could blow this opportunity short of comparing a girl to your mother or an ex-girlfriend, and in some occasion even one of these might work. With all that said I finally have found one of the absolute worse things a man could say, are ready, are you sure cause here it comes "you're not particularly bad."

Yes you read that right "you're not particularly bad". Really you're better off saying "you're the prettiest girl I can get to talk to me in here" or "I'm desperate and you will do." Not saying that anybody I know has said anything like this, just giving a word of advice to all those around to never do that again.

And with that I segment into the hockey part which will in short be a summary of the hockey that I viewed this weekend as the Huskies took on the Wildcats of Northern Michigan, breaking down my time into several key categories and doing an in depth analysis.

1)Goaltending: Pretty Good
Teslak gave up one goal in sixty-five minutes of play with the one goal coming off of a bad rebound after the puck bounced off of one hid defender skates really giving him no chance to do anything. Nolan turned in a solid performance Saturday making a lot of quality saves that a lesser goalie would of let in for sure, I once again feel more then confident have No Goalin Nolan in net.

2)Defense: Not Particularly Bad
The Huskies played strong defense all weekend, they stopped alot of shots before they reached the Teslak on Friday and a lot more Saturday night playing in front of Nolan, however I believe that all of Northern goals this weekend came off of turnovers, or poorly played pucks in our own defensive zone.

3)Intensity: Not Particularly Good
Friday night I felt it, they wanted to play hard, they wanted to hit people, they wanted to score, they wanted that game and I could feel it. Saturday not so much, if you can't fired up to play your in state rivals a game after your entire fan based followed you to another arena and took the place over only to watch your starting goalie taken out of the game and a game that clearly dominated from whistle to whistle end in a brawl and and a tie game, there's a problem.

4)offense: Particularly Bad
65 shots on goal, 1 goal. What more do I have to say this team can't score against Northern, maybe it's because they're so use to scoring with Northern girls that scoring on their guys just feel weird, or maybe it's the complete and total opposite, maybe they've heard so many times the pitfalls of scoring in Northern that didn't want to put the puck in the net without proper protection.

That's my recap, I don't think it was particularly bad, and hopefully the rest of the college hockey season will bring more moments that are not particularly bad or better yet pretty good.


Beer Pong Horn said...

Just so it's perfectly clear:

I hate you.

MeanEgirl said...

Rob Green, your grammar is horrendous. Also, you didn't justify the post again... (luckily I took care of this for you.)

Goon said...

MeG, I probably would be wearing a drink because I was never able to say the right things.