Thursday, October 29, 2009

Twitch Boy's Weekend in Colorado Springs

Well, here it is Thursday. I have a special treat for all of the THB readers! Michigan Tech alumnus and creative mastermind best known as "Twitch Boy" agreed to write a recap of his weekend. He is employed in Wyoming and he made the drive to Colorado Springs last weekend. Here was his experience:

Twitch Boy Attends a Puckkake Session in Colorado Springs
by Twitch Boy

Hi. I'm Twitch Boy. You may know me as that really loud guy with a clarinet who wears a hot dog on his head. I was the first person with enough geek cred to make a giant sign that says “pwn3d” and wave it around whenever Tech scored.

Somehow, through some miracle, I managed to escape Houghton with a degree and at least a portion of my sanity, and in my attempts to GTFO made several wrong turns and eventually gave up in Cheyenne, Wyoming. Naturally, I was keen to make the 3-hour journey down when I found that Tech was visiting CC, and some short girl who probably has a restraining order against her from the whole SCSU team started biting my ankles and asking me to write about my experiences. Seeing as how it's this or kill my brain with more Geometry Wars, here we go!

The ride down was uneventful, except when I hit Denver. It's 1:30 in the afternoon. The left lane is stopped. That's right, the fast lane. The lane meant for passing slower traffic to the right. That's Denver's response to anything unorthodox happening on I-25: stop. Massive accident on the side, stop. Someone merging on, stop. No reason at all, stop. A Denver driver wouldn't last 30 seconds in Detroit. And they love to congregate around trucks doing 60 and block traffic.

Pre-game. Don't mock my crappy cell phone camera

This is the place to hit in C-Springs. Just down the street from the Broadmoor Hotel, the Golden Bee is an English pub. Not a recreation of one, an actual English pub disassembled and shipped piece by piece over here. Upon sitting down, your server greets you by presenting you with a cool embroidered bee sticker as a souvenir of your visit – by tossing it so it sticks to your shirt.

...get your mind out of the gutter.

What they don't tell you is that the bee clings to dazzle cloth like a CS major clings to his 1-terabyte server of anime pr0n. If you get one on your jersey, forget it. It's there for life. I sadly wasn't able to visit in the evening and see the ragtime piano player. I wonder if he knows Journey. He better.

With that said and done, it was game time. I really wished it wouldn't have been. Yes, we have no penalty kill. 3 PPG for C
C, 2 of them within ten seconds of the power play starting. I think we know what we need to work on in practice.

FINAL: 4-1 CC.

The next morning, I then proceeded to make the single biggest mistake of the trip.
Some forklift jockey who is a Minny fan despite attending UMD recommended I check out the arcade in nearby Manitou Springs. I'm a Techie, I loves me some video games, this is a slam-dunk, right? I pull into Manitou Springs and it is a zoo. Apparently there is some kind of Halloween festival in town. People are everywhere, and Main Street is blocked off because they're running coffins down the street or something. I tried two pay lots, which turned out to be full, wasting me a good ten bucks total.

After finally finding what I thought was a parking spot, I went in to get my pinball on. Overall, the arcade wasn't terrible, though I've seen bigger and better. Some of the machines were in questionable shape, as I discovered upon plunking 50 cents into Lord of the Rings pinball to discover the left flipper didn't work.

I think this game was my favorite:

That's right, tSBFitW was in the parlor game business for a while.

After blowing a good $20 in quarters, I return to my car and there's a parking ticket, despite me being parked in a completely legal spot in front of a store. Squee.

Game number two. Holy crap, Tech showed up. They scored 4 goals within five minutes of each other in the second period. They're up 4-2 on CC. Even the Other Siders are going bonkers. I even got to bust out the “high school goalie” chant.

And then the PK happened.


4-3 Tech.


4-4 all.


5-4 CC.

Kivisto gets bounced for CFB.

6-4 CC.


7-4 CC.

My final thoughts on this game: bukkake. Bukkake bukkake bukkake bukkake bukkake. And finally, bukkake. (That oughta cause some interesting Google results.)

FINAL: 8-5 CC.

What worries me the most about that big ocho underneath CC's name? Tech's wins recently have usually come in the same manner: take a 2-goal or so lead by hook or by crook, then go into lockdown mode, sit on the lead, and drive Boosh insane. That's not happening now. This does not bode well.

One more thing I learned on my way back: if you are ever on I-25 north through Colorado and need to make a gas/food stop, DO NOT PICK EXIT 161. It's a maze. Total time to fill up, order a 10-piece McNugget, and get back on the expressway: 45 minutes.

In summary, there's a bee stuck to my weiner, I got a parking ticket, Tech went splat, and I probably caught swine flu from being around the crowds of crotchfruits dressed as Bella Swan at the arcade and just don't know it yet. FML.

I have no idea what else to talk about, so here's a YouTube video of Japanese Ronald McDonald dancing around like an idiot:


Brent said...

I had no idea about the Halloween crap. And I played about 75% of the games when I was there in August, and only ran into two failures.

Hey, it was the biggest/best arcade I have ever been to, besides the State Fair. And if it was so bad.....$20 in quarters?! Just saying.


Anonymous said...

Yeah, could have been worse I guess. A lot of the games did look a little worse for wear (guess that happens when you keep them outside exposed to the elements.) Cedar Point has a nice arcade too.

If they would have had a Black Knight 2000, High Speed 2: the Getaway or Addams Family, all would have been forgiven.

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